would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
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