i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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