dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
