she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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