It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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