He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
