He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
