Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
