In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
