Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
