I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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