M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
