Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Your cock deserves a montage
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Randomize
