Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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