Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
