Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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