We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
