the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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