I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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