Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You have to summon your inner elephant
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
