nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
