I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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