You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
