:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
