My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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