Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
