You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
