She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
