Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She even gives head with a lisp.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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