so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
