it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
