It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
