thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
