He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
