You're completely useless in the revolution.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Pants are for mortals
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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