eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
