your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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