Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
