i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
