When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
