My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
