You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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