maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
