I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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