btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
