i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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