I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
