You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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