I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
