her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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