I cockslap morals
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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